How to Help a 4 Year Old That Won't Talk in School: 5 Steps
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Extroverted kids in his class may cause him to appear shy by comparison.

Your child’s teacher asks for a parent-teacher conference because your 4-year-old won’t talk in school. This surprises you because he talks nonstop at home. You know your child has been anxious about starting preschool and hasn’t yet found his comfort level or made friends with the kids in his class. You’ll meet with the teacher to make sure you understand the situation. Maybe she just needs to catch sight of him at home to get a different view of his personality.


  1. 1
    Talk with your child about why he doesn’t talk in class. Ask him, “Do you like the teacher? The kids in your class? Is there something going on at school you want to talk about?” If he doesn’t have issues with his teacher, classmates or school you can assure him of your support and that it’s okay to try new things, make mistakes and find his own way to be comfortable at school. If he does have issues with someone or something at the school, talk to the teacher about the problem and work together to find a solution.
  2. 2
    Role-play school situations with your child so he can find ways to become comfortable with life in the classroom. Ask him, “What kind of things do you like at school? What don’t you like? How would you like things to be different?” Pretend to be the teacher or a fellow student and think of ways he can interact with the teacher and students. If there are specific things that make him uncomfortable, share those things with the teacher and see if she can help him during school.
  3. 3
    Suggest your child try to interact with others. “Is there someone in your class you want to be friends with? Are there things you would like to do in class with the other kids?” Allow him to brainstorm ways to make friends, talk in class and take part in classroom activities.
  4. 4
    Talk to him about sharing things he does well, such as build with blocks, put together puzzles or draw. Ask, “Do you think some of the kids in your class would like to know how you draw such cool pictures? Are there others who might like to play ball with you or build a city in the block center?” Encourage him to believe in himself and his abilities.
  5. 5
    Visit a child psychologist if things don’t improve and he expresses a lot of anger or fear, has behavior issues, won’t make eye contact or sees to be overwhelmed with life in general. Express your support of him even if he needs the assistance of a child behavior professional.

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Categories: Education and Communications

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