How to Deal with an Angry and Resentful Husband: 5 Steps
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Don't become the victim of abuse.

No marriage is perfect, but when your husband always seems angry and resentful toward you, married bliss can turn into marriage burn-out. An angry husband can walk a fine line between venting his feelings and verbal abuse, so don't become a victim. If you think the relationship can be salvaged, your hubby needs some emotional boot camp to whip his attitude into shape so you can continue working on your relationship.


  1. 1
    Gauge your husband's anger and actions toward you to decide whether you're the victim of domestic abuse. Verbal abuse can be as harmful as physical forms of abuse. If your husband uses his anger to berate you, make you afraid or control you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for options in seeking help. It's anonymous and can help remove you from a potentially dangerous setting.
  2. 2
    Watch your husband for his triggers. Typically, those who have issues in containing their anger have specific events or actions that will light the fuse. In some cases, the triggers can be completely avoidable, such as fatigue or work stress. In those cases, you can work to make coming home a calming experience to avoid an outburst while avoiding triggers that you know can set him off.
  3. 3
    Don't talk to your husband when he's angry or resentful toward you. You deserve the benefit of a civil conversation, so if he begins a tirade, walk away and offer to talk once he's calmed down. If you get angry and start a back-and-forth between you, you'll end up even rockier than before. Check your own emotions and wait for a better time to talk.
  4. 4
    Look for ways for your husband to vent frustration and aggression. If he tends to work in an uber-professional environment, it might be difficult for him to let off steam at the office, resulting in an outburst when he's in the safety of your home. Sports, a hobby and offering a listening -- not judging -- ear for when he wants to vent can help him let off steam so you're not on the receiving end of aggression.
  5. 5
    Ask that your husband attend couples counseling with you. You might be able to find out why your husband harbors resentful feelings toward you, how to slow or stop an outburst, and better ways to communicate so you don't become a verbal punching bag. If your husband will not attend counseling, you can go on your own to learn coping strategies and signs that your husband's anger is becoming abusive.

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