How to Deal with a Child Saying Rude Comments: 10 Steps
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Deal directly with your child's rude comments. As children grow and their mastery of language develops, they begin to assert their personalities. Some children might be naturally quiet and shy while others ooze confidence and are more boisterous in their actions as well as their speech. Loud, outgoing kids with a tendency to blurt out whatever comes to mind are likely to make rude comments in public that might cause embarrassment. But you can learn how to respond to your child in ways that reduce the tension.


  1. 1
    Don't respond in anger. Even if your child has just asked your best friend why she is so fat, stay calm. But don't overlook the comment. Tell your child immediately that she has made a rude comment.
  2. 2
    Speak privately to your child. Call him close to you and explain that some words hurt people's feelings. Tell him he has caused someone else to feel pain.
  3. 3
    Explain to your child why her comment hurt someone. Say something like, "Aunt Susan spent a lot of money on your birthday present because she loves you and wanted to make you happy. She is feeling very sad now because you told her that the gift was ugly and you hate it. We must always thank people who give us presents because it's nice of them to want to make us happy."
  4. 4
    Get your child to empathize. Ask, "How would you feel if Megan said she thought you had a big, ugly nose?" Try to get your child to see how it feels to be on the receiving end of an insult.
  5. 5
    Ask your child to apologize. If she just told Uncle Joe that his breath smells really bad, have her go to Uncle Joe and tell him she's sorry she made the comment.
  6. 6
    Do not laugh, even if you are amused. Sometimes our children's rude comments echo our own thoughts and in the midst of our embarrassment, we see the funny side of it all. Remember that if you laugh, you will be encouraging your child to repeat similar comments in the future.
  7. 7
    Find out where you child is hearing rude comments that he might be repeating. Be vigilant when he is watching TV. Many shows depict children making rude comments and getting big laughs in return.
  8. 8
    Be aware of your own behavior. Has your child overheard you making rude comments about other people? Sometimes we forget our little ones are nearby, soaking up everything they hear us say.
  9. 9
    Explain to your child the difference between truthful and hurtful. They might feel that it's acceptable to make a rude comment if it's true. Be prepared to hear your little one justify her comment by saying, "But Aunt Dora does have wrinkles on her face!" Let her know that just because something is true, we don't have to be compelled to comment on it.
  10. 10
    Be persistent in your approach. Even a 3-year-old is able to understand hurt feelings, but might forget from one incident to the next. Be patient and explain all over again why some comments are hurtful.

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Categories: Education and Communications

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